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But Today, We Are the Egg

December 7, 2011

So when I was in high school, I had this one teacher who had a rather unusual style of teaching. Let’s call him Inky.

Well first, I should say that Inky loved baseball. And since Inky was quite influential at the school, we had a fine looking baseball field. In fact, it was rumored that the same groundskeepers who took care of Shea Stadium took care of our baseball field.

Now much to Inky’s dismay, we never really had a baseball team worthy of this outstanding field. In fact, I would go so far as to say we downright sucked at sports.

Anyway, back to Inky’s class, Urban Planning. So all the baseball players took his class because Inky loved them despite their total lack of athletic prowess. Sort of like whatever city it is that has that team that always loses—Boston Red Sox? Is that you?? (My husband tells me you’ve turned yourselves around these days, but since I went to high school during the Curse of the Bambino years, my memories of high school baseball and you are forever intertwined).

So that’s why they took the class. I honestly have no idea why I took the class. But I did. So Inky would assign us reading and (see above suckiness at sports meant we were academic) we would all do it, and then when class came around, he would talk in the middle of the room, our desks lined up in a circle around the outer edges, and then he’d spin and

STOP!

POINT!

MICHELLE!! What’s a something or other to do with urban planning?

STOP!

POINT!

GREG!! What’s the difference between a bulldozer and a front-end loader?*

You get the idea, right? Inky was a big, booming man and the questions were more startling than difficult, but still, they generally had to do with what we were talking about, which was usually urban planning, cause you know, that’s what the class was.

Clearly, my blog has not been adapted in the style of Inky’s follow-the-topic format.

EH-NEE-WAY, we read a book called THE POWER BROKER: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York by Robert A. Caro. It’s been, oh, about ten years since I read this book and I don’t remember a single thing about it. No, just kidding. I actually thought it was incredibly interesting and still remember a surprising amount all these years later (fine, more than 10).

From Amazon, “…Robert Moses was, for almost half a century, the single most powerful man of our time in New York, the shaper not only of the city’s politics but of its physical structure and the problems of urban decline that plague us today.”

So in this one section of the book, it talks all about how Robert Moses basically built all of the major highways in and out of New York City. Fabulous, right??

Well, maybe not so much to the people who lived on the land that they needed to bulldoze (hey, maybe that question really was relevant!) in order to make those highways. Those people were basically forced out of their homes.

And the book says: “You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.”

STOP!

POINT!

JASON! What’s an omelet?

So even now, all these years later (fine, it’s more than 15), I still crack up when I think of Inky asking that question. I even remember that it was really this guy Jason that he pointed to. What’s an omelet?? I mean, ask what the saying means, fine. But what’s an omelet???

Whatever. But the sad truth is, you really can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs. Robert Moses did incredible things, but he broke a heck of a lot of eggs.

I think we are on the verge of something amazing here with Coliloquy. All the shrieking and berserking I’ve talked about, Tawna Fenske has talked about (fine, maybe Travis embellished a little bit in yesterday’s comments), but everything we’ve talked about has been very very real.

But today, we are the egg.

I thought I was going to be able to give you real details today. Can you honestly not feel how much I am DYING to give you real details here??? But today, we are the egg.

I think there’s an incredible omelet on the way. Believe me when I say that I will tell you everything I can, as soon as I can.

But today, we are the egg. I kind of like typing that. Can you tell?? OMG!!! I think I might have to change the title of the post. Conducting a poll of one right now (read: asking my husband).

So you see, the title changed. As a reward for reading all the way to the end and for not killing the chicken that laid the egg (Ha ha!! I can’t believe I went there. Wait, but I’m not the chicken here. I didn’t lay the egg. I’m like the grocery store maybe. No wait, more like the distributor? Or wait, who am I?? Shit, is this some ploy to squeeze out the agents??? Stop it! Stop it!! This isn’t about pointing fingers at any chickens. Just be the egg, dammit (wow, that would make a good title too, but I’m going with the more zen feel of the original (I mean the original change)), the original title for this post was:

JASON! What’s An Omelet?

Which title do you prefer? Tell me in the comments!! Tell me you hate me.** Tell me you love me. Tell me you’re so excited for this Coliloquy Omelet*** you forgive the constant tease!! Just comment! It makes me happy.

*Please note this question may have nothing to do with urban planning (or maybe it does, in which case, shibumi!), but was adapted from a TRUCKS picture book I read with my kids so as to make this story more effective.

 **Actually, don’t do that. Polite lies are greatly preferred. Thank you.

***Any suggestion that Coliloquy has nothing to do with eBooks and something to do with cooking, farming, or food manufacturing was entirely unintentional.

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7 Comments
  1. Aha!!!

    So, given your disclaimer that Coliloquy has nothing to do with cooking, farming or food manufacturing…it must mean…I mean, seriously mean…as in completely involved with, not excluding OTHER topics, but seriously contemplating having something to do with a topic on the order of…

    BULLDOZERS!

    Yes!!! That’s IT!

    Whew. That was quite a big egg to lay…no…wait…egg…lay…I’ve got it–really GOT it this time. Seriously, for sure, it’s about …

    PANTYHOSE!!!!

    You know those funky eggy thingies with pantyhose inside?

    THAT’S REALLY IT!!!!

    Stories imprinted on pantyhose so to read the story you have to wrap around the legs and up the thigh (fanning myself frantically now), and we won’t even DISCUSS the concept of crotch vs. non-crotch…

    So…when did you start writing your R-rated blog post, Ms. Wolfson????

  2. Suddenly I’m hungry. For an omelet.

  3. Now I want an omelet but if I make it, I’ll have to wash the pan. Damn.

  4. Mmmm. Eggs. Darn it, now I’m hungry again.

  5. Ha! I now that the desire to yell ‘What’s an omelet?’ to random people at random times. That would be fun.

    The name of that book Inky made you read sounds so familiar. I swear my husband’s quoted it at the dinner table or something. But I just looked through his collection of the thousand most boring books in America and I didn’t see it. And, if indeed, he does not own or has read this book (it would be a small miracle) I should get it for him for Christmas. Shh. Don’t tell him.

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  1. How Do You Choose Just One Book? « Wolfson Literary Agency

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