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The Tiger Has Roared

January 20, 2012

So I went to sign into WordPress and it didn’t remember me.

I mean, I know I checked that little “remember me” box last time and I put up a blog post only a day or two ago. So how long could it have been? You know how some sites make you re-enter that stuff if it’s been a while or something? Or wait, is that just me too??

Anyway, I feel like my own blog is kind of snubbing me. What the hell is that about, WordPress??

I’m inserting this part now, even though I already finished the rest of the post, like a PS that comes in the middle of the blog post because I have something to say now but I already finished writing it and my something to say needs to go here. So PS, I just italicized the Word part of WordPress. At first I had the whole word (that word being WordPress) italicized, but I didn’t feel like that conveyed the proper tone.

Like at dinner tonight, I was reading several emails to my husband and he was laughing (because I’m so funny) and commented that he liked the way I read them—like how in the movies when a character is reading a letter to herself and you hear her voice in her head reading the story. I give a dramatic presentation of the text.

So you see, all my italicizations and boldifications are very intentional (except for any accidental ones), and I hope you are reading correctly and hearing my voice in your head, even though I realize that most of you have probably never heard my voice.

It sounds just like that totally fabu (I kind of wonder if FABU should be my signature word instead of Shibumi. Wait, that’s just crazy talk, right?? I mean, shibumi is so much fun to say. And I actually think it’s really catching on. I’ve even seen it in a couple of queries. Although I do really like to say fabu. But you know what? I’ll just say it then. Whenever I feel like it. Like berserk. Berserk berserk berserk berserk berserk. Fabu. Fabu fabu fabu fabu fabumi??)

Anyway, that fabu actress who you said was your favorite one—I can’t remember her name, but you know. Yeah, I sound just like her.

ANYWAY, back to being snubbed by WordPress. Do you want to know the craziest part??

***SPOILER ALERT***

If you do not, in fact, want to know the craziest part, skip to below the break.

But first I can tell you just a semi-crazy part. So if you want to know that, stick around here. So the semi-crazy part is that I don’t even know how to make a break that you would skip below!!! I mean, would I just fill it up with space??

What’s kind of funny is that I’ve skipped to below the break before to avoid spoilers, but I don’t think I ever really paid attention to the true mechanics of it.

It’s possible that I even closed my eyes while skipping, so that a spoiler didn’t accidentally get revealed if I didn’t skip far enough.

Just as an aside, I don’t think real life skipping with your eyes shut is a good idea. HA!! It might lead to a break. Get it?? Like a broken bone break! That joke just typed itself. Really. Except the part where I laughed before the punch line. I think I did that.

*****BREAK******

So the craziest part is that I was signing on to WordPress to write a new post, and then I realized that’s not even where I write them anymore! I write them in Word!!

Ever since that time when I was typing lines over lines and I was convinced WordPress was encrypting my blog messages into a secret spy message for the universe but then it disappeared. Remember that?

OK, I just reread that post and I totally crack myself up.

I think “The Tiger has Roared” probably really is a secret message for the universe and it’s just that I have such mad encryption skills it’s taking a little longer than normal to decode and get back to me with my marching orders, you know?

Oops, I just realized that the spoiler was after the break, not before it. Good thing it didn’t really spoil anything. And I mean, who didn’t want to read the craziest part, right???

PPS So I asked my husband if he wanted to read this post and his (totally incorrect) answer was: I’ll just read it when you post it. Me: But I’m posting it NOW. Anyway, he came over to glance at the first few lines and he asked: why were you going to WordPress? So here I thought he just wanted the end of the story without having to read all the good stuff to get there. Annoying, but whatever. So I said: to write a new post. And he said, I thought you use Blogger.

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14 Comments
  1. I tried to comment in Blogger yesterday and it decided it didn’t remember me because I had to change my password and totally kakked it up. Never mind that it allowed me to post. I’m just not allowed to comment at random times. It must know when I’m going to spew a lot of nonsense, I guess…

  2. This is clearly a foreshadowing to the PC vs. Mac and WordPress vs. Blogger debate I can just feel is coming in an uncoming blog post.

    Kapow, Shazami Fabumi BOOM.

    There you go. You’re welcome.

  3. Lol. Caught your link on twitter. Keep up the, er, good work.

  4. Lol. You seriously crack me up. After some drinks, or Starbursts, you must be a major hoot. 😉

  5. I didn’t even know you had a blog, and I certainly never imagined your voice to be like Emma Thompson’s, but it really does make everything sound better, so that’s awesome. Also, wordpress forgets me about once a month even though I post about three times a week!

    • I do an awesome British accent. But only for key phrases. Like “It’s a bit grotty” Got that actual phrase from British friend.

  6. Wow. I don’t even know what to say. You are funny. I’d like to see if your voice comes out in your writing. It’s got a good banter to it for sure! 🙂

    TiffanyLawsonInman
    http://bit.ly/BestsellerSecretsStripped

  7. If it makes you feel any better, I had trouble with blogger today.

  8. I – don’t quite know what to say. But I caught your plea for the universe to send comments while you sleep, and if I can’t assist the universe every now and then, what good am I?

  9. That’s a good punchline.

  10. You’re a step ahead of me. I haven’t tried posting from Word yet. I’m techno-phobic.

    And of course you italicized *Word* but not *Press.* It’s fabu. Or shibumi. Or something. (I clearly need to read more of your blog so I know how to use those properly.)

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  1. Holy Krakatoa! It’s So Shibumi!! « Wolfson Literary Agency

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